We Build Best when we Build With a Blueprint, a design, an “ideal” in mind…
God's blueprint for marriage is detailed in Ephesians chapter 5. This is the most revealing text in the Bible about marriage and the roles of husbands and wives. But I've discovered after 30 years of pastoring that, while most people like what it has to say about their partner, they don't necessarily like what it says about them.
Here's the text…. (We will go ladies first…)
To wives, Paul writes: " Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord." (Eph. 5:22).
To husbands, Paul writes "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her," (Eph. 5:25).
Every woman loves the idea of having a sacrificial, sensitive husband who encourages and cherishes her. And men? If a man knows one scripture in the Bible, he knows this one about submission. We might joke about sensitive men and submissive wives, but I want you to know that this is God's plan for marriage. IT'S PERFECT.
Why? The main reason is because it’s God honoring, when we do life God’s way things just work out best in the long view, secondly, it makes us more attractive to our spouse.
Submission, for a woman, is about Respect and Honor. It's not about Domination. It's not about being timid or being a doormat. But it is about showing gentleness and a godly spirit instead of aggression or negativity. The Bible says a gentle and quiet spirit is precious and attractive in the sight of God.
It's also attractive to men. The number-one need that a man has is the need to be honored. (I know it seems shallow and silly to you ladies, but that’s how God made us) Submission by respecting and honoring your husband gives a woman the key to a man's heart….
Husbands listen, the number-one need for women is security, safety, confidence. Does your wife feel these emotions from you? Are you providing an environment of security, financially? emotionally? sexually? For husbands, loving their wives with a Christlike love means being committed to meeting her needs and making her feel secure. Does she KNOW you are never going anywhere but right where you are…? No woman wants to be in submission to a man who isn't in submission to God….
Husbands, one way to do this—is to “Live” what Paul mentions in Eph. 5:25 “to love her sacrificially.” Let’s read that verse from “The Message” translation… “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything He does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.” (Ouch!) Am I “THAT” Guy?
A man who sacrifices for his wife and serves her becomes much more attractive to her. God wired women to respond that way. Not based on exterior appearance, but based on how we help around the house or spend time with the kids.
When we “Live” this… When our actions line up with God’s Blueprint, we are not just accomplishing the marital roles God has for us, but we are also making ourselves more attractive to our spouse….
Any man will not be attracted to a dishonoring woman. Any woman will not be attracted to a self-interested man.
That attraction isn't just physical or sexual, either. When we fulfill the roles in Ephesians 5, we become more willing to open our hearts to each other. We experience deeper intimacy, greater friendship. Many times it is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. If we build our lives, our marriages on God’s Design we move forward along the path to a strong, godly, indestructible marriage.
Deb and I are Praying for you TODAY...
Be friends, be fit, be Fantastic…
See You in Church...
Mark & Deb
Let's Give Them Something To Talk About...
Try saying this out load to each other:
So it's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're going to have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want to honor God and I want YOU. I want all of you, forever, every day. You and me... every day.
Something To Pray About...
Father In heaven: Help us to build the life, the marriage, the family that You intended us to be. We know that Your plan is best. Forgive us for sometimes NOT playing our part. Forgive us for trying to play our partners part. We will read Your Word and do our best to “Live” it. In Jesus name and Jesus Power. Amen.
Let's Give Them Something Apply...
Being Romantic: Set a daily reminder on your phone or calendar to either call or text your spouse, just to connect during the day. No need for anything fancy. If your texting just tap out a quick “Thinking of You” or I Love You.” (Hint: Check your spelling because “I Liver you” will only cause confusion and embarrassment)
Lesson in Love: Every time you get annoyed with your spouse’s bad habits, first take a moment to examine your own flaws and address them. Think of it as Precautionary Marital Maintenance.
Date Night: Visit your local indoor or outdoor miniature golf complex. Play a round of golf, keep score, and make it interesting with a “marital wager.” For instance, the looser of the round must give a massage to the winner.. ☺